A buch of letters
by NinkSmiley
Summary: Yes it's a hayffie fanfiction. It's like a bunch of letters that Haymitch and Effie sent to each other. Julius and Diana are their kids and stuff. In this fanfiction you can see my extreme talent of writing akward letters and my poor attempt of being funny. Anyways review!
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Effie! **

**I don't care what the fashion is! I am not letting you put make-up on my son! He's a boy for god's sake! And you buy all those expensive wigs and guess who has to pay for them! **

**Also could you please come here? Screw all your duties in the Capitol; I really need to see you and my kids. **

**Craziest thing just happened yesterday. Katniss almost burned her house down! I laughed so hard. She was trying to cook to surprise Peeta but she failed miserably. That's the girl on fire! Okay it might have been my fault a bit because I spilt some alcohol on their stove. Oops. **

**Anyways how are Julius and Di? Give them a kiss in my name!**

**Your weird district 12 drunk**

**Haymitch**


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Haymitch!_

_Julius is so you. He wouldn't let me do it anyways. And I pay for my own wigs thank you very much. They're not even that expensive! You spend more money on alcohol than I do on wigs. _

_I'm really sorry, but I can't come just now. Paylor really needs me to organize some stuff. I will try to arrange something as soon as possible. But I won't send the kids to you until you get sober and start behaving! _

_That's horrible! Is Katniss okay? How about their house? Is it really damaged? How could you spill alcohol there? You're so immature!_

_Julius and Diana are both fine. Julius wants to tell you that he's the best in his class and Diana learned how to say the letter r. I'm so proud. _

_Always yours, _

_Effie_


	3. Chapter 3

**My dearest Effie!**

**Like father like son. **

**Punch Paylor in the face.**

**Katniss is okay and so is their house. Oh c'mon it was just a minor fire. We're lucky there's no coal dust in victors' village or we'd all be screwed. **

**Again like father like son. Give that kid a candy. So what you're telling me is that she can finally pronounce Abernathy? Give her a cookie. Or a candy I don't care you have plenty of sweet stuff in the Capitol, including you and my kids. **

**I was thinking about what you told me. I really could get sober… I don't know I'll think about it. **

**Your almost sober drunk boyfriend**

**Haymitch**


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear Haymitch_

_I did not see that coming. You? Sober? Well you surprised me. If your plans are actually serious you have my full support. Maybe then you could have the kids over for some time during holidays._

_Manners Haymitch! Do you want to get me fired? Then I swear you'll pay for my wigs! Look it's like a couple of weeks or so and then I'll come with Julius and Diana. _

_I just miss you so much! I wish I lived in District 12 but I can't. Maybe, when you're finally sober we'll move to you. I know you hate the Capitol but I have nothing against 12. Okay, maybe the smell._

_xxx_

_Effie_


	5. Chapter 5

**Effie!**

**I am dead serious. But I couldn't do it without you. And that means you have to come here but I really don't want the kids seeing me like this. So here's my idea:**

**You and the kids come here but we drop them off at Peeta's and Katniss's house and then I go sober or at least try to lower down the amount of alcohol I drink every day. The thing is Peeta was trying to convince Katniss to have babies and I'm totally with him but Katniss however isn't and it will be a good idea for them to gain some parenting skills and either Peeta either Katniss will change their minds. And besides, kids need some fresh air. **

**I don't care if you get fired and you also look pretty without a wig. Ginger hair really fits your face.**

**What's with all the x-es?**

**Haymitch**


	6. Chapter 6

_Haymitch!_

_Who have I fallen in love with? X-es mean kisses!_

_I'm not quite sure about that. I don't want Katniss burning my kids. If Peeta promises that he'll cook maybe I can agree. And of course if they're okay with that._

_I'm not exactly sure you can quit drinking, but you could lower what you drink. _

_I'm actually mad at you because my hair is not ginger but blonde! How can you confuse these two? I am not ginger! And I prefer my hair pink, thank you very much._

_Your not ginger girlfriend_

_Effie_


End file.
